Consistency

If you read DD blogs, one of the common themes is women complaining that their husbands are not consistent with their discipline. As a HOH, I know that I have not been consistent. This has bothered me because I have read about how important consistency is to women in DD marriages. After 21 years of leading, and correcting my wife, I have two thoughts about consistency.

1. Ladies, be careful what you ask for
2. Men, stop worrying about consistency

One of the wonderful paradoxes of domestic discipline is that wives love having husbands who love and care about them enough to correct them when their behavior is damaging to their marriage. At the same time, they hate being punished and will do whatever they can to avoid the spanking they have earned. My wife knows that DD is important for our marriage and she wants her husband to be in charge, but when she has misbehaved she is like a little girl who doesn’t want to be spanked.

The only way a man can be consistent in punishing his wife is to not punish her at all. That sounds good to a naughty girl with a sore bottom, but it is not in her best interest in the long run. I have learned that for my wife, more spankings are better than fewer spankings. When I am worrying about been “fair” or “consistent” I am likely to talk myself out of giving a spanking.

Men like myself, who try to live with our wives in an understanding way¹, come up with lots of reasons not to give a spanking;

• She didn’t mean to
• I may not have been clear in my expectations
• It is not a good time
• She is under a lot of stress

It is always in her, and his, best interest to punish a wife’s bad behavior. The most effective punishment for my wife (and I think all women) is a bare bottom spanking (often with corner time).

My advice for wives is, don’t nag your husbands about consistency (or anything else). Support his authority to discipline you when and how he sees fit.

My advice for husbands is, don’t let your concerns about consistency, timing, or even fairness prevent you from administering a spanking whenever she disobeys, is disrespectful, or otherwise misbehaves.

^{1. I Peter 3:7}