Consistency

If you read DD blogs, one of the common themes is women complaining that their husbands are not consistent with their discipline. As a HOH, I know that I have not been consistent. This has bothered me because I have read about how important consistency is to women in DD marriages. After 21 years of leading, and correcting my wife, I have two thoughts about consistency.

1. Ladies, be careful what you ask for
2. Men, stop worrying about consistency

One of the wonderful paradoxes of domestic discipline is that wives love having husbands who love and care about them enough to correct them when their behavior is damaging to their marriage. At the same time, they hate being punished and will do whatever they can to avoid the spanking they have earned. My wife knows that DD is important for our marriage and she wants her husband to be in charge, but when she has misbehaved she is like a little girl who doesn’t want to be spanked.

The only way a man can be consistent in punishing his wife is to not punish her at all. That sounds good to a naughty girl with a sore bottom, but it is not in her best interest in the long run. I have learned that for my wife, more spankings are better than fewer spankings. When I am worrying about been “fair” or “consistent” I am likely to talk myself out of giving a spanking.

Men like myself, who try to live with our wives in an understanding way¹, come up with lots of reasons not to give a spanking;

• She didn’t mean to
• I may not have been clear in my expectations
• It is not a good time
• She is under a lot of stress

It is always in her, and his, best interest to punish a wife’s bad behavior. The most effective punishment for my wife (and I think all women) is a bare bottom spanking (often with corner time).

My advice for wives is, don’t nag your husbands about consistency (or anything else). Support his authority to discipline you when and how he sees fit.

My advice for husbands is, don’t let your concerns about consistency, timing, or even fairness prevent you from administering a spanking whenever she disobeys, is disrespectful, or otherwise misbehaves.

^{1. I Peter 3:7}

More Often

I spank my wife and have for over 20 years, but I still find I don't do it often enough. My wife is happier, I am happier, our marriage is better, when she has been spanked recently. I know that and yet, I still tend to talk myself out of spanking her. She doesn't give excuses, I give them for her, "She isn't feeling well", "Now is not a good time", "She didn't mean to be disrespectful","Maybe I wasn't clear about what I expected". While I am talking myself out of spanking her, life moves on and it seems too late.

Here is my three-point plan to correct this.
     1. Enforce the rules. Remember it is my job, not hers to interpret the rules. 
     2. No excuses. I don't accept them from her, I shouldn't accept them from me either. 
     3. If it crosses my mind that she should be spanked, then she should. Otherwise, I talk myself out of it.

Do other men find that they tend not to spank as often as they should? How do you deal with that?

Why I Spank My Wife

This is one of my EP posts.

It's a cliche but I spank my wife for her own good. She benefits from a spanking because;

1. It is a clear demonstration of how I feel about her misbehavior. 
2. It reinforces our roles in our marriage. 
3. After I have spanked her, I am no longer mad at her. 
4. Making the effort to correct her shows that I love her and that our relationship is important to me. 

My wife doesn't like getting a spanking, and she hates the corner time before. What she would hate even more would be if I stopped caring enough to spank her when needed for her own good and for the good of our marriage.

Welcome EP Refugees

I have had this account for a while as a means to follow other blogs that interested me. The news that the Experience Project will be closing has motivated me to use it as a way to keep in touch with my EP friends and others who support domestic discipline and the spanking of adult women. Please use this post to let me and our friends know about other good DD forums to continue the discussion. If you wish to contact me privately, you may use the email link on this blog's home page.

I will start by mentioning two DD discussion forums;

• Domestic Discipline,   http://www.voy.com/244008/
• Wives who are spanked for punishment,  http://www.topix.com/forum/news/sex/TSGIFEH1MQ3FP3USF

Please support others by posting about other helpful forums, discussion boards, and blogs. 

Introduction

Hello,

My wife and I have been married for 21 years. We both believe that the husband is called to be the head of the family and that the wife is to obey her husband. Before we were married, I came to the conclusion that women are not naturally obedient. If they are to be obedient, as I believe God requires, their husbands must help them. I help my wife to be obedient by expecting her obedience and by punishing her when she isn't. Her punishment usually includes a spanking on her bare bottom.

My wife does not like being spanked, but she has learned that submitting to punishment is necessary for her to be the obedient, submissive wife she desires to be. Over the years, she has learned to behave and I do not need to spank her very often any more, but it still happens.

We hope that this blog will encourage other couples to grow in their domestic discipline marriages. That requires men to grow in their leadership and their willingness to enforce their family rules. It also requires women to grow in their obedience and submissiveness. Our experience, and that of many others, is that the more you work on these things, the stronger and happier your marriage will be.

Please reply to this and other posts on this blog. I do not want this to be just my thoughts, but a place to safely discuss domestic discipline. I encourage debate and disagreements, but expect commenters to be respectful of others and of  the theme of this blog. I reserve the right to remove comments that are not encouraging and supporting of others.